A little of this and a lot of that...

First off, it's 5:55 on a Saturday morning and I have now been up for almost an hour.  I cannot sleep.  I got news this morning that a dear friend of mine was in a car accident and I'm sitting here wondering what her world must look like right now.  Yesterday I was whining and griping about how my life isn't fair sometimes, and yet I have 3 beautiful children, am engaged to an awesome guy, and have more blessings than I deserve.  I have a roof over my head, clothes on my body, and parents who have basically taken me and the kids under their wings the last 3 years.  What a big baby I was acting like!!  Why do we do that?  It's sad how something so horrible has to snap us back into our reality and remind us of our blessings.  I am ever so sorry for thinking and feeling the things I did yesterday.  All I can do is sit here and pray for the family of my friends.  I won't go into the deets.  Just know.  They aren't good. 

As for being accountable to my workout plan. I have stuck with it!! I'm actually really proud of myself for that.  I'm on Day 9 now and it's a REST day.  I like the sound of that!  Even yesterday, when I was Pouty McPoutface, I forced myself through the workout and it did help bring me out of the funk...at least a little bit.  I am feeling much more energetic everyday and I feel like maybe can feel my strength building.  That feels great!  Turbo Fire is definitely an intense workout and makes me sweat more than anything I've ever done before, but it is never boring and keeps me on track...so I love it!  Highly recommend.  But it's not for the faint of heart.  I would recommend doing Turbo Jam first if you're just getting back into shape. 

Lastly - If you're a parent. - WHY do kids get SO crazy in the summer?!?!  I'm about to pull my hair out over here.  If only I had their energy.  Let's just put it that way.  It's been so hot that we have kind of been stuck indoors.  My request is for more free indoor activities so parents can not totally lose their minds. Is that asking too much?  No. In all seriousnness, I'm just thankful that my children are most obviously happy and healthy.  They have tons of energy and actually you can tell that they know they are loved.  They're amazing kids.  Even if they are slightly hyper sometimes.  :)

TurboFire Day 4

So today I start Day 4 of my 90 day journey!  I'd take pics and all that, but my camera seems to be broken. I'm so disappointed. Or maybe not. :)  So far, I'm LOVING TurboFire.  It is so energizing and fun!  I'm anxious to see what happens to myself as I go on this journey.  No. I'm not in horrible shape. But I'm definitely getting to a point of getting onto a slippery slope...plus I need to look FAB at my wedding next month!!  Anything less would just be unacceptable!  The journey for me is about SO much more than being in shape..it's about getting back to ME.  I need to regain my self-esteem and energy and pride in myself.  Somehow that has gone away...hmm...wonder why.  So I'm digging my heels in and COMMITTING to finish this!  I'm going to use this blog as an accountability partner to blog about where I'm at, what I think of the program and my results.  That being said...it's time to go let Chalene kick my tail!

http://beachbodycoach.com/fitmom23

Finding a New You!

After divorce, something that every woman (at least that I have met) struggles with are the phases that you go through.  You doubt yourself, your worth, you lose track of who you are or who you are going to be.  Are you the same person?  There is absolutely no one in this life that maintains the same exact person that they are in life.  Things happen.  People change.  It sounds trite, but it is oh so true.  I think the main thing that we MUST focus on as mothers and women and people in general is that the pain and hurt that we go through does not make us bitter, hateful people.  We have a choice to make every single day.  We can choose to live in the past and hold on...hear those negative voices that tell us we are not worthy, that we must hold our head down in shame over our past, or that we are responsible for the happiness of those around us, or we can choose to make a new life and a new version of ourselves.  I have recently realized that the past was holding me down like a 1,000 pound weight.  I carried the losses with me and let the past make me jaded and the guilt I felt over things I could have done better make me feel like less of a person.  I let this happen to the point that even going to a church was near impossible.  I was raised "right"...you know?  How could I have messed up my life so much?  Well...after much realizing and thinking, I realized that all you can do is hold your head high, find the best version of you, learn from your mistake and always strive to do better.  The last part of that is reaching out and knowing that you are not alone!  I'm not only finding a new me, I'm creating her...I'm creating the person the God wants me to be and my family needs me to be.  As I embark on the journey that is the next chapter in my life, I am choosing courage, commitment and joy.  I am choosing to be positive and open and find a way to use what I have been through to help others not have to go down that road, and if they find themselves in the same position, maybe, just maybe, they can see a ray of hope.  There's always tomorrow.  There's always another chance.  And if you reach out beyond yourself with courage, you will find that you are not alone.  Create the you that you can be proud of and love.  Most importantly, create the you that GOD knows you can be!  There's no greater joy in life than knowing you are living a Godly, rewarding, full life.  Make the choice.  Put the old, defeated, sad, regretful you in the past and take the step to find a new you!  I'm here for you!  We're all making that choice every day.  <3

 5 Things Blessing my life!  (I almost forgot!)

1. New found hope.  I am getting married again in almost exactly a month and this fills my life with joy! I'm so blessed to have my Michael.
2. TurboFire.  Yes. A workout.  Working out gives me not only strength, but peace of mind and a calm.
3. Watching my children grow in the Lord.  We're reading Max Lucado's "The Story" every night right now.  It's a blessing!
4.  The fact that I am gaining the 2 most awesome kids I have met (other than my own) as step-children.
5.  My parents.  They are my heart and my lifesavers. I could not have made it through this last year without them!